If someone is being quiet, walking towards the back of the group, maybe has an iPod earbud (or both) in their ears and isn’t really saying much:
Tell them they’re being anti-social
Ask them if everything’s okay
Tell them they need to be less quiet
Ask them if everything’s okay again
Break them out of their zone at all, if possible
Ask them if they’re sure everything’s okay
Chances are at this point, the introvert… He or she is VERY tired and is honestly rather enjoying just listening to everyone else talk while he/she reflects upon the day and just lets his or her thoughts wander. Speaking to, poking, etc him/her is just going to break them out of their zone and that is bad. Most of the time we don’t mind if it’s just a simple yes/no question and we’re left alone afterwards. But just because we’re quiet does not automatically mean that we are sad, pissed off, etc.
Yeah, my angry face is the same as my calm face is the same as my sad face. But really, constantly questioning one’s emotional state is going to make one angry, regardless of whether or not they were angry to begin with. Especially if they are very tired already.
And with the telling them they’re being anti-social/they need to be less quiet bit?? Yeah, that is a GUARANTEE they’re going to get pissed off. Screw you! Anti-Social is a personality disorder. Introversion is a personality trait. Calling someone, who is clearly off in their own little world “anti-social” is the same as me breaking and entering into your house just to call you an asshole.
And lastly, here’s the deal: Some introverts really don’t understand themselves very well. At all. We have trouble explaining ourselves And because of that we’re very protective of our inner selves. So repeatedly trying to get into our heads and learning more about us… You might just end up making us want to keep you out more so.